Say No to the Radio
by Bleu Sarcelle
Summary: Seven days. They have seven days to survive each other in this strange colorful place. They will have to rely on their skill and training if they want to make it out alive; and if they want to ride Space Mountain with a line wait of 70 minutes. Batbros Batdad in Disney World.
1. On the Way

_**N/a:** We needed this one, come on. _

_Looking for Betas btw, for this story, very much appreciated! Send me a PM if you're interested._

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ _I don't own any Batman related character. They are DC Comics's._

* * *

"Someone please remind me why are we doing this?"

Dick raises his head from the map on his lap and looks at Jason through the driving mirror. "Because we need to bond more as a family."

"Let me rephrase that –"

"Please, don't." pleads Tim from the back, in the car.

" –Why am I being dragged into this nonsense?"

Dick arches an eyebrow. "Because you're part of our family."

Silence.

"Yeah, ok, you win this one." Says Jason reluctantly.

Bruce chuckles to himself in the driver's seat, eyes fully focused on the road but ears on his sons' chatting. It was still early, around seven in the morning, and patrol for him and Damian ended just a few hours ago. Hence, the reason why the ten year old was completely knocked out next to Tim, forehead against the window. Although, he was sleeping albeit a little uncomfortably.

"Tim, could you, please…" Bruce trails off, making eye contact with his son before glancing at Damian. Tim's eyes widened with understanding and with a long agonized sigh, he pulls Damian by the shoulder and lets him fall on his lap, making the kid a little more comfortable during his nap.

Bruce nods his thanks and smirks when Tim sends him an unimpressed look.

"This is the reason why Dick should be here, instead of me." Tim voices, trying not to shift in his seat in fear he would wake up the Demon Spawn on his lap.

"I'm the one with the map, I can't be in the back." Argues Dick, eyes on the paper map.

Jason snorts. "Who even uses paper maps anymore? You have a fucking iPhone with GPS and Google Maps, don't be a Grampa."

"Hey," the eldest sibling calls out offended, "You can never go wrong with paper maps, they're original and reliable."

"You're sure you know where we are going?" inquires Bruce on his side.

Dick waves his hand half-heartedly. "Of course I know." Bruce frowns a little at the extreme confidence in his eldest son's tone. "Now take the next right."

Twenty minutes later, Dick is sitting in the back with a pout.

"In 800 meters, turn right." Came the mocking (at least to Dick's ears) voice from Tim's phone on the front.

Jason snickers behind Dick's ear. "Oh, yeah, so reliable."

Dick raises his free hand, the other one stroking Damian's hair, and waves it in the air, imitating Jason's voice in a mocking way.

"Oh wow Dick, so mature."

* * *

"I'm hungry."

"Hi, Hungry , I'm –"

"What the fuck, Dick, you're not even a dad!"

Bruce rolls his eyes as he lets out a frustrated sigh. He glanced to the digital clock on the car. "Okay, I think it's time for a quick lunch. Let's see our options."

Oh boy, bad idea.

"Let's go to Dennis!"

"No! Let's go to Wendy's!"

"Don't mention that abomination in my presence, Drake! I demand to go to Super Salad."

"You and your damn salads, kid. You're literally a rabbit except you're not cute."

"Shut up, Todd! You're a zombie."

"The fuck, kid? YOU TOO!"

"WENDY'S! I NEED FRIES."

Dick leaned closer to Bruce. "I say Chuck-e-cheese."

If looks could kill.

* * *

They ended up in McDonalds.

"This is outrageous." Spats Damian sourly.

"Just eat your meal, Damian."

"Ah ah ah, your _happy_ meal." Corrects Tim with a grin.

Damian throws a fry at him.

"Ah, shit! There's salt in my eye!"

* * *

"I spy with my little eye –"

"Shut up." says Jason, hitting his forehead against the window.

" –something green and white."

"Shut up." _Thump_.

"The sign we just passed?" tries Tim lazily, not looking up from his phone.

Dick's face lights up. "Yeah, Timmy! You're so good at this." He praises, and Tim shrugs. "Okay, next. I spy with my little eye –"

"Shut up." _Thump_. _Thump_.

" –something dead and smelly."

"Drake's love life?"

"No…" says Dick, frowning. "But that's another alternative answer."

Tim lets out an indignant squeal. "I trusted you, Dick."

Dick laughs it off, nudging Tim on the shoulder. "I'm kidding –"

"I wasn't."

" –let's keep playing –"

"Shut up." A second voice joins Jason this time and everyone looks at Bruce through the mirror.

Bruce arches an eyebrow. "What?"

* * *

It was around midday when Bruce had a great idea –

"How about some radio?"

Which will later be known as Bad Idea #2.

* * *

"MAKING MY WAY DOWNTOWN –"

"JASON, NO."

" –WALKING FAST. FACES PASS. AND I'M HOME BOUND."

"GRAYSON, NO."

"NA NA NA NA NA, AND I NEED YOU."

"BRUCE, MAKE THEM STOP."

"NA NA NA NA NA, AND I MISS YOU."

"FATHER."

"AND NOW I WONDER –"

"DAMIAN PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN!"

* * *

"WHAT DOES THE BATMAN SAYS?"

"NO NO NO NO NO NO."

"BOYS."

* * *

"DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE BREAKING DOWN?"

"Every Monday, yes."

"DO YOU EVER FEEL OUT OF PLACE?"

"At the Charity Galas, god, they're the worst."

"LIKE SOMEHOW YOU JUST DON'T BELONG."

"Well, it's not that per se, but more of the rich people being annoying."

"AND NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU?"

"I don't understand you, Jay."

"DO YOU EVER WANNA RUN AWAY?"

"Why do you think I stay with the Titans every weekend."

"Ouch, Timmy."

"Sorry, Dick."

"Stop ruining my song, assholes."

"Keep ruining it, Drake, you have my permission."

* * *

"SO I PUT MY HANDS UP –"

"NO."

"THEY'RE PLAYING MY SONG, THE BUTTERFLIES FLY AWAKE."

"IT'S 'AWAY', YOU DUMBASS."

"YEAH, IT'S THE PARTY IN THE USA –OH SHIT"

"I THOUGHT YOU TOOK HIS KNIFE AWAY!"

* * *

"MY ANACONDA DON'T –"

"You have my blessing, Damian."

"HE HAS A SECOND ONE?!"

* * *

"How much longer, B?" questions Dick, feet against the car's ceiling in the back seat.

"A few more hours left." Comes the short answer.

The four of them groan.

"It's so boring!" complains Dick pitifully.

"Yeah, like, I literally reached the end of my dashboard on Tumblr."

Jason and Damian remain silent, both of them in an intense glaring contest.

"I could always turn on the ra-?" Bruce is not even half way through the question before everyone snaps at him with a 'NO'.

"Thought so." says Bruce with a smirk.

* * *

Finally, after a few hours and a short stop at Dennis, the Waynes pass the welcome sign of Florida.

"Remind me again why we're going to fucking Disney World?" asks Jason bored, arms crossed over his chest as he looks outside the window.

"Watch the language, Jay, it's Disney." Reminds Tim, scrolling through his phone.

"Okay...let me rephrase that –"

"Please don't."

"We're going because Damian has never been there and we could use some loosening up. Secondly, we could use some time away from technology. However, the most important thing is to remember what it's like to be a kid and act like one." Cuts off Dick with a satisfied smile.

The rest of his family stared at him.

"I was basically kidnapped, I didn't ask for this." Deadpans Damian.

"I'm the chilliest person ever, I do not need to loosen up." Scoffs Jason.

"But there is Wi-Fi, right?" Inquires Tim slowly, almost fearing the answer.

"Act? Can't act what you are, I say." states Bruce under his breath.

"Whatever!" exclaims Dick, waving his hands around, brushing them off. "We're going to Disney World and we're going to have fun, you bunch of antisocial punks."

"I resent that! I went out two nights ago."

"Beating up criminals at three in the morning is not considered normal social events, Jason."

Jason shrugs. "The point is being outside, is it not?"

"No!"

Another shrug. "Bite me."

"Is it almost the end of the week?" Tim pleads, and Bruce pats him on the shoulder.

"Not even close, champ."

"You suck at comforting people, B."

* * *

 _Hope you liked it!_


	2. The Welcoming

_**N/a:** Still looking for betas. _

_**Disclaimer:**_ _I don't own any Batman related character. They are DC Comics's._

* * *

"I think you just passed the entrance."

"Tim, I love you with all my heart, but shut up."

"I'm just saying, Dick, just follow the signs, they are purple and have mickey ears, they're not that hard."

"Here's an idea, why don't we just –y'know, turn back and never look back?"

"Here's another idea: Shut up, Todd."

"Whose idea was to let Dick drive?"

"How dare you. B needed a nap and I offered! Or what? Did you really want for Jason to take the wheel?"

"To be fair, I would have let Jesus taking the wheel."

"Isn't that comforting?"

"No, it's not. What's wrong with you, Drake?"

"No –I mean –Ugh shut up, Demon."

"TIM! The next exit, come on! Guide me!"

"You told me to shut up!"

Bruce blinked sorely at the ceiling all the way on the back. He didn't had any comments.

"DICK, LOOK OUT FOR THAT DUCK!"

"OH SHIT –"

The car abruptly came to a stop, making Bruce to flop and crash into the floor and getting stuck in a very uncomfortable position. Even then, he saved up his comments.

"It's okay! It's fine! The duck is fine!"

A couple of groans and scoffs. "I'm not fine."

"You were never fine, Todd."

"For the love of Alfred, just take the next exit on your left." Pleads Tim, dragging both of his hands over his face. Dick puffed his cheeks but did as told.

The car stayed silent for a few minutes before Dick decided to speak.

"What Resort we're staying at, again?"

* * *

"Aloha, everyone! Welcome to the Polynesian Resort!"

Five pairs of eyes blinked at the smiling Cast Member, who was holding a bunch of Hawaiian neckwear. Bruce offered her a small thank you, a charming smile, let her put the neckwear around his neck and went on his way to the front desk. Dick stepped forward with a big smile, followed by a reclutant Tim and then Jason, who shrugged, holding with both hands his free drink.

Everyone turned to Damian.

"No." he deadpanned.

"He's shy." Explains Dick, laughing softly.

The Cast Member frowns a little but smiles nonetheless. She steps forwards, and leans towards Damian.

"Here ya go, pal. Mickey told me he made this one especially for you!" She exclaims, waving the neon green neckwear in front of the ten years old face.

If looks could kill.

"No."

Gina, the name written on the nametag in the young employee, frowned a little bit deeper and pursed her lips. "Come on, buddy." She says, raising the neckwear above Damian's head before the kid literally dodges it like a bullet.

The red head blinks before narrowing her eyes in determination. She tries again, but Damian evades smoothly. She tries from above, Damian slides to the left. She tries from the right, Damian ducks. She tries working from down to up, and Damian jumps. She corners him against the plastic plant on the entrance and he crawls out.

 _Crawls_.

By the tenth attempt it becomes more of a competition. Jason and Tim are laughing on the background as Gina is running behind Damian, who is twirling and even doing cart wheels around the lobby.

Dick just takes a sit and accepts the free drink another Cast Members offers him.

"Alcohol?" he asks subtly. The employee smiles knowingly and nods. "This is truly a magical place."

* * *

"I can't believe she actually got you!"

Damian pouts on the way to their room. "She was a decent opponent."

"Dude, she actually managed to put five of those flower neckless around your neck!"

The ten years old blushes and he hopes it can be cover with the five layers of neckwear on him. "I'm was trying to maintain my act of a child, Todd! Not that you have any problem with that!"

"Say that to my fa –"

"Oh-Kay! We're here!" declares Dick, clapping his hands and throwing Jason the extra key. "Don't lose that. We need to once we go get our Magic Bands."

"Magic what?" Jason scrunches his nose.

"Magic Bands! It's like a bracelet that help you with your vacation and has different –"

"Another way to waste money on something stupid and useless, got it."

"Remind me again why do I have to share with Jason?" Ask Tim, leaning against the wall and trying to lift his laptop-backpack off the floor, without much success.

Dick arches an eyebrow. "Do you wanna be with Damian?"

No hesitation. "No."

"That's why."

Tim frowns. "Why can't I share with you and these two nutjobs share together?"

"Do you want the world to end?"

"That's a lil'overdrama –"

"Do you¡?"

"No…"

"That's why."

* * *

"Let's go to the pool."

"No, let's go to the Aloha Restaurant."

"Let's go home."

"I paid a lot of dollars to be here, pal, you're staying and liking it."

"You're killing me, B. _Again_."

Silence.

 _"_ _Rude."_

 _"_ _Awkward."_

 _"_ _Inaccurate."_

 _"_ _Lame. Get a new one."_

"ANYWAYS. How about the arcade?"

"Nonsenses! We shall go to the Kingdom of the Animals!"

"Animal Kingdom, Dami."

"That's what I said?"

"Let's just saty inside the Resort for the rest of the day." Says Bruce, grasping Damian's shoulder and squeezing as a silent promise. "Tomorrow we can start our adventure."

"Yeah, Dami! We need more than half a day to do the park, because it's so big!"

A cough. "That's what she said."

Silence.

 _"Lame. Get a new one."_

"Shut the fuck up, Tim."

"DISNEY!"

* * *

Jason and Tim stared at the Resort's Pool before sharing a smirk.

"Cannonball?" asks Jason, already getting in position.

Tim nods, almost bouncing in excitement. "Cannonball."

"No Cannonball." Came a voice behind them. Both siblings blink at the Cast Member, Kevin, as he stubbornly places himself in the middle of them, totally messing with Jason's pose.

Kevin continues his way whistling but not before slapping a Mickey face sticker in their chest.

Both boys made their way back to the family grumping with each other.

* * *

Dick and Damian rubbed their hands, smiling proudly at their pile of ice cream in their table. They managed to get in separate bowls the different kinds of ice cream and now they are going to damn well enjoy their hard work.

"Ice cream contest?" dares Dick, raising an eyebrow to his baby brother, who smirks.

"Ice cream contest." The ten years old confirms before clacking their silver spoons together.

"No Ice cream contest." Interrupts Kevin, passing behind them, slaps a Mickey Face sticker on Damian's shoulder and continue walking.

Dick's face instantly falls and Damian fumes at the sticker in his body.

Another Cast Member passes in front of them and Dick calls them. "Wanna join?" he asks in hope to continue the event.

The young teen smile widely and starts nodding.

"No joining."

Three different groans are heard as soon as Kevin's words are spoken.

"No groaning."

* * *

Bruce narrows his eyes and hunches forward, staring intensely at the wall a few feet from him but his mind farther than that. Both of his hands placed in his mouth and deep frown in place. The coffee he ordered a while ago still hot, untouched and exactly where the server left it.

Kevin casually pass through his seat and without raising his eyes from his checkboard, he points at Bruce. "No brooding."

Bruce grunts as a response.

* * *

Jason stared at the big tall and wierd blue bear from across the room. Tim, by his left, arches and eye brow and looks the way his brother is.

"Why are you staring at Stich?"

"I don't trust that lil'shit."

Dick, who was passing by mere causality, gasps. "Jason! We talked about this. Damian is your brother!"

Jason isn't amused. "Continue on your way, Dickhead."

"DISNEY!" Dick yells but continues neither way, jogging towards Damian and carrying him away from the squirrel he was definitely about to adopt.

The middle sons watch them go before focusing again in Stich, who was waving and playing with the people around him.

Tim takes a deep slurp from his Mickey Theme straw. "He's funny. Leave him alone, Jay." Jason hums, ignoring 100% the comment, and narrows his eyes.

Suddenly, Stich makes eye contact with him and in a swift move; he places on of his hands over his eyes before pointing at Jason.

Jason takes a step back and opens his mouth, clear offence written on his face. Did the blue demon just threaten him?

He frowns, because he's an adult. He can behave himself and not start fights with stupid imaginary and big eared pigs or whatever he was. He was not denigrating himself to that pity level.

Five minutes later, Tim's recording what would be titled later that night in Youtube Jason Todd V Stitch ft. Lilo with a special Guest: Cast Member Kevin.

It hits one million before their third day.

Still is Jason's proudest moment 'til the kingdom come.

* * *

 ** _Hope you liked it!_**


End file.
